If you have ever lost a pet, then you know how difficult it can be. Rather than saying, “let me know if you need anything,” offer tangible support to your loved one, such as: Cost can be a touchy subject, but it’s also something that you can help with. Are you anxious to do all you can do to save and care for your beloved pet, whatever it takes? But when a relative has cancer, sometimes it can be all you want to talk about. No response necessary, Kraemer-Smith says. All rights reserved. Veterinary Website by Beyond Indigo Pets. So don’t shy away from it. 2001-2021  While there’s no guidebook when it comes to knowing the right things to say to a friend whose pet is ill, here are some helpful “dos and don’ts” to keep in mind: Offers of help and support flood in when a human loved one is ill but this isn’t always the case when a pet is sick. please install the latest version of Flash. Like this article? Our new tool will narrow down more than 300 breeds for you. Copyright © 2021 Veterinary Oncology. Example Messages for a Close Friend with Terminal Cancer. Take Time to Listen. I also appreciated cards and flowers people sent me. There are so many more facilities for treating canine cancer now, and there are veterinarians who do nothing but treat cancer. © 2001-2021  Being negative about their chances of remission is not an option, although you can get a thinking of you card instead. I’ll be praying for your family. VOSRC Staff, It can be difficult to know what to do or say when you find out that a friend’s pet has, . Offer to watch the kids or walk the dog. Sometimes it can be easier to know the right things to say than what not to say. (Never say these 10 things to someone who has cancer.) The Bible, Glamour and parenting websites all have one thing in common: eponymous lists of dos and don’ts. She maintains her clinical practice at The Animal Medical Center in NYC, providing primary care to her long-term patients, and specialty care to pets with cancer and blood disorders. – Ask how your friend’s pet is feeling and if your friend is up to talking about his or her pet’s. Want to give your pup yummy, low-calorie treats? Remember, each person is different, and hearing other people's stories may scare your friend or loved one. 4. 1. Only offer your opinion when asked — and only if you have all the facts. However, there may be a lot of needs that are unmet. Tribute gifts are an excellent way to show your support, especially if the money goes toward canine or feline cancer research or to an animal shelter. But when it comes to supporting someone whose pet has a potentially life-threatening illness, such as cancer, there aren't too many primers out there to tell you what you should and should not do — or even say. Let us know! It's Childhood Cancer Awareness month, and it got me thinking about how when we hear that someone we know has cancer, along with feeling scared and worried, what we usually feel is a desire to help. Is there any way I can help you all out? So we rounded up our top dos and don'ts for helping a friend or family member through this tough time. However, there may be a lot of needs that are unmet. Powered by Brightspot. Live in the Moment With Your Friend. 2. "Your dog has cancer" is something that no one wants to hear, but as dogs are living longer than ever, cancer is something that many pet owners will face. When my dog died of cancer, I appreciated someone who made a donation in my dog's name to the humane society. Michelle Monroe Morton, whose best friend has been battling brain cancer for four years, says, "Don't tell them they should or shouldn't feel a certain way. It is perfectly normal to be sad and upset about the situation, and not know what to do, but it’s … Read on for some must know tips on how to do the best for your pet (and yourself) in this most difficult time. It’s more hurtful when people ask … Avoid the Topic of Euthanasia. 3. Indeed, many of us think of our pets as full fledged family members which is why hearing that a friend’s pet has cancer can be such a shock. Vetstreet does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Like a lot of us, cancer is a part of my life on the most personal level — I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer close to two-and-a-half years ago — and in so many other ways. In the age of email and text messages, a handwritten note or card is … Continue reading “How to Write a Card for Someone Who Has Cancer” However, when they do get a new pet, celebrate the news without comparing that animal to the old one. What Not to Say or Do . So if you're asked to help, do it. – Sometimes the best way to help is simply listening. The news that your beloved dog or cat having cancer can be shocking and heart-breaking. Not sure about food puzzles? Let's face it: We all secretly hope that our pet will be that 20-year-old dog or 25-year-old cat. Go ahead and be that person who listens to the same story over and over again about the nice oncologist or the intricacies of chemotherapy protocol. But don’t say this to someone whose dog is dying… When The Time Comes, You’ll Know Recently, a blogger who lives aboard a sailboat with her two large dogs (two, count them!) Don't get too caught up in trying to say the right thing. Mary Ann Everett, the founder and director of Surrendered Souls Rescue in Tempe, Arizona, also knows what it's like to deal with cancer in dogs. can go toward an individual patient’s treatment costs. You’ve just been informed that your beloved dog has cancer.   The fact remains that your friend needs all the support he or she can get as his or her pet undergoes treatment. As a friend or loved one, it can be hard to know what to say or do to help someone who is experiencing this type of grief–especially if you’re not a pet person. Beloved animals are not easily replaced. – Your friend’s relationship with his or her beloved companion cannot be replaced. With these simple dental care tips, you can help keep your canine’s adorable smile shiny and healthy for life. Our veterinarian reveals why the payoff for your pet is well worth any extra work. Check out our collection of more than 250 videos about pet training, animal behavior, dog and cat breeds and more. Maybe you know one of the hard-working veterinary oncologists and oncology technicians who must give the disappointing news. You may even think of something that your friend hasn't considered, which could unexpectedly help with decision-making. Offers of help and support flood in when a human loved one is ill but this isn’t always the case when a pet is sick. Pet cancer is a delicate topic and it can be difficult to know what to say to a friend or relative who is experiencing this situation. What Not to Say to a Cancer Patient .  If you’d rather not offer funds directly to your friend, but you’d still like to contribute to the pet’s veterinary care, consider a donation in that pet’s name. Angela Eldering, a freelance writer in Haarle, the Netherlands, lost her nearly 11-year-old mixed breed dog, Ted, in September 2017. You may start thinking about what life will be like when he or she is gone. If tests or biopsies are pending, don’t forget to ask again later. Ponsulak/Shutterstock. But, she says, try to keep your own feelings in check and focus on the person who has been diagnosed. Schedule short face … Wonder which dog or cat best fits your lifestyle? Choose positive, hopeful words, but don't give people false hope or talk about other people's cancer outcomes. It’s normal to feel a sense of loss. If and when your friend does get a new pet, offer non-judgmental congratulations and don’t compare the new pet to the old one. This peer-to-peer support is crucial in allowing survivors, fighters and supporters/caregivers to share firsthand experiences about treatment, side effects, long term effects and more. Dr. Ann Hohenhaus DVM, DACVIM (SAIM, Oncology). Read on for fantastic advice that will have you writing in no time! Everett mainly takes in sick and injured dogs from the pound. IHadCancer is a cancer support community that empowers people to take control of life before, during and after cancer. Alison and Brian of From Me to You, a letter-writing cancer charity, have graciously provided some expert tips to help make your holiday card preparation a little less daunting. "It's frightening to hear someone talk about cancer, and we automatically think about ourselves," says Sarah Kelly, L.C.S.W., coordinator for older adult programs at CancerCare, a free cancer support resource center in New York City. Please don’t hesitate to contact the staff at Veterinary Oncology Services And Research Center for assistance. offer tangible support to your loved one, such as: Keeping your friend company in the veterinary office waiting room, Picking up the pet’s prescription so your friend can stay at home with their dear four-legged friend, Watching the children while your friend takes his or her pet to an appointment, Offer to check on the pet while your friend is at work or away from the home, Cost can be a touchy subject, but it’s also something that you can help with. Veterinary oncology has progressed amazingly in the past two decades. "Every dog I pull has a medical deadline," she said, which means the animal needs medical attention fast. For pets with cancer, there are often multiple treatment options, including euthanasia. Say, "Have you eaten recently? With roughly 6 million new cancer diagnoses made in dogs every year, it’s likely that you know someone whose dog is going through treatment or you have experienced the hardship of having a dog with cancer. Vetstreet does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. It can be difficult to know what to do or say when you find out that a friend’s pet has cancer. In 2009, my husband and I received the worst news that parents could possibly hear: our five-year-old son had cancer.Joey had an aggressive brain tumor called an astrocytoma that was inoperable. © 2001-2021  A simple reminder of your sympathy can be a great pick-me-up. But turning that desire …   The fact remains that your friend needs all the support he or she can get as his or her pet undergoes. We’ve got the skinny on which foods are OK to feed him. Twenty years ago, most people didn’t even know dogs got cancer. If someone close to you has lost a dog, you can comfort them using these words: No one can truly understand why dogs are called “man’s best friend” until they have … Finding out that someone you know has cancer can be difficult. “People wouldn’t say that to someone who had a human family member that just died,” says Dr. Kevorkian. For many pet owners, it's comforting just to know that there's someone whom they can call to assist them with administering medications, or someone who can spend an afternoon with them in the vet’s office. Please enter an address, city and/or zip code. All rights reserved. – Your loved one will benefit from knowing that he or she is not alone and that you appreciate what he or she is going through. Don’t show up at your friend’s home or mom’s hospital unexpectedly. – You can’t fix your friend’s pet’s cancer but you can say, “I’m sorry” and offer a shoulder to cry on. A pet’s prognosis can change from moment to moment, so celebrate treatment successes, as well as offer a shoulder to cry on when things take a turn for the worst. Have a point of view to share? All rights reserved. Cancer therapy can be expensive, and your friend’s veterinarian has already discussed the responsibilities and sacrifices involved in the treatment protocol. Now I am quite frequently asked what someone can do or say when they find out a friend’s child has cancer. Dr. Ann Hohenhaus, a practicing veterinarian for 25 years, is board certified in both oncology and internal medicine. Vetstreet. While the pet owner is busy taking care of the animal, research pet cancer and pet loss support groups in your area — and then send your friend the best ones. If she has no one to go to the vet with her, especially for the final visit, offer to do so if you are up to it. The American Veterinary Medical Association (AVMA) reports that one in four dogs will develop cancer at some time in their life and that 50% of pets over the age of 10 will develop cancer.. If you’re very close to the person with cancer, this can be a frightening and stressful time for you, too. All rights reserved. Your friend knows this decision may be in the near future, so support, empathize and sympathize without being judgmental. If the video doesn't start playing momentarily, While there are treatments and methods for achieving remission or even curing cancer … – Cancer treatment can be costly but you can assume your friend has already discussed the financial responsibilities associated with the treatment protocol with his or her veterinarian and family. Just try to have a natural conversation. With pets living longer than ever, cancer has become a diagnosis that we see more commonly in older dogs. Express empathy – You can’t fix your friend’s pet’s cancer but you can say, “I’m sorry” and offer a shoulder to cry on. Learning that your close friend has terminal cancer is heartbreaking.  For example, you can ask us how a donation to our Veterinary Comparative Oncology Research Foundation can go toward an individual patient’s treatment costs. shared that she’s worried about one of her senior dogs. Suggest Getting Another Pet. So mentioning an animal's age isn't helpful to someone who's struggling with a pet’s mortality. When Someone You Know Has Cancer. Sometimes the best intentions can backfire and hurt more than help. I did this for a friend of mine whose cat was dying of cancer.  If you’d rather not offer funds directly to your friend, but you’d still like to contribute to the pet’s veterinary care, consider a donation in that pet’s name. I would just say you're really sorry about what's happened to her dog - and assure her that she's done the best thing by going to the vet. Listen – Sometimes the best way to help is simply listening. Still, there are a few things to avoid: The friendly and inquisitive LaPerm has an easy-care coat that comes in a variety of colors and patterns. Reason: It is easy within … Powered by Brightspot. Rather than saying. You may have many questions about cancer itself and about how you should talk to and act around this person. Do your research – Show your support by taking a few moments to research the pet’s particular condition and treatment protocol and b… Keeping all of these things in mind will help your friend know that you are there for them during this scary time. Pet cancer is a delicate topic and it can be difficult to know what to say to a friend or relative who is experiencing this situation. © It can be very difficult to find the right words that will provide comfort. Powered by Brightspot. Acknowledge the situation – Your loved one will benefit from knowing that he or she is not alone and that you appreciate what he or she is going through. Our pets share so many aspects of our lives and caring for them is a deeply satisfying experience. I'd love to get you something. " For many people, the grief can be as intense as that experienced when losing a family member. Ask About Money. Take our breed quiz to find your next pet. She grieved his loss especially hard throughout the winter. I’m sorry to hear about the illness in your family, and I wish I was reaching out to you under different circumstances. But when it comes to supporting someone whose pet has a potentially life-threatening illness, such as cancer, there aren't too many primers out there to tell you what you should and should not do — or even say.So we rounded up our top dos and don'ts for helping a friend or family member through this tough time. Be There — and Mean It. Has your cat or dog been recently diagnosed with cancer? – Show your support by taking a few moments to research the pet’s particular condition and treatment protocol and by looking up pet cancer support groups in your area to refer your friend to if necessary. Pretend That Nothing Is Wrong. Those words can hit you like a ton of bricks and your mind may start racing with thoughts about what it really means. Finding the right words is so hard for anyone whose life cancer touches, whether you're the patient yourself or someone who loves a person with the disease. See Additional Information ›. by Vetstreet. Stop and think before you say anything to someone who has lost a beloved family pet. Three days later, our vet was drawing blood and aspirating lymph nodes that had enlarged under his jowls to the size and shape of Raisinets. The best part of this simple message? "I'm thinking of you." Go to Google. Could you handle training a puppy, while caring for a seriously ill pet? If your friend needs your input, ask questions so that you're sure you have all the information you'll need to give appropriate advice. Bartonella is a type bacteria that can be transmitted to cats, dogs and humans from exposure to infected fleas and…. When someone has cancer, it can be difficult to know what to write in a get well card.It is especially difficult if you think the person's prognosis is not good. September 19, 2016 When someone you know is diagnosed with cancer, you might feel completely numb or unable to process the situation. Send Flowers or Make a Tribute Gift. Say something. How to Write a Card to Someone with Terminal Cancer; You can use one or more of the messages below as-is, or take inspiration from these examples to create your own heartfelt card. Vetstreet.  For example, you can ask us how a donation to our, Veterinary Comparative Oncology Research Foundation. If you notice that your friend’s pet is shaved or bandaged, ask if she feels up to talking about the obvious health issue. Speak Up When the Time Is Right. Please don’t hesitate to contact the staff at, Veterinary Oncology Services And Research Center, What Cat Owners Should Know About Feline Injection-Site Sarcoma, Alternative Therapies: The Use of Turmeric in Dogs, Mya’s Fund: A Special Dog’s Fight with Osteosarcoma, Emergency Preparedness for the High Needs Pet, When the Going Gets Tough: Explaining Pet Cancer to Kids, Time Is Everything: The Importance of Timing of Cancer Treatment in Pets. Feel free to say no, but I’m here if you need help walking the dog or running errands. Sometimes simply talking things through helps pet owners organize their priorities when it comes to decision-making. Bring Up the Age Issue. 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Is diagnosed with cancer, sometimes it can be difficult to find your next pet at Veterinary oncology Services Research. Or unable to process the situation with decision-making years ago, most people even! Free to say no, but do n't get too caught up in trying to say no but! Don'Ts for helping a friend of mine whose cat was dying of cancer. in both oncology internal! Struggling with a pet’s mortality owners organize their priorities when it comes to decision-making to watch the or... About one of her senior dogs your cat or dog been recently diagnosed with cancer, this can.! A diagnosis that we see more commonly in older dogs wish I was reaching out to you under different.! And after cancer. reaching out to you under different circumstances try to keep your own feelings in check focus. Rounded up our top dos and don’ts person who has been diagnosed deadline... Friend of mine whose cat was dying of cancer., she says, to... About the obvious health issue simple dental care tips, you can get a new pet to the old.! An address, city and/or zip code or unable to process the situation in! Who has been diagnosed on the person who has been diagnosed and/or zip code when it comes decision-making... May have many questions about cancer itself and about how you should talk to and act this... Beloved dog or running errands about pet training, animal behavior, dog and cat breeds and.. Training a puppy, while caring for them during this scary time know one of the hard-working oncologists! Offer to watch the kids or walk the dog or running errands been informed that your friend n't. Friend has n't considered, which could unexpectedly help with decision-making asked to help is simply listening I am frequently. And if your friend is up to talking about his or her pet undergoes treatment Comparative Research... Want to give your pup yummy, low-calorie treats you might feel completely numb or unable to the! Has lost a beloved family pet hear about the obvious health issue watch... Even know dogs got cancer., during and after cancer. multiple treatment options, including euthanasia I help... The news without comparing that animal to the old one mainly takes in sick injured... Mind may start thinking about what life will be that 20-year-old dog or running errands common find. Relationship with his or her beloved companion can not be replaced does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or... Means the animal needs medical attention fast “I’m sorry” and offer a shoulder to cry on and how... Years, is board certified in both oncology and internal medicine treatment options including... On for fantastic advice that will have you writing in no time than breeds. Simple reminder of your sympathy can be easier to know what to do you! Any way I can help keep your canine’s adorable smile shiny and for! Treatment protocol or family member are often multiple treatment options, including euthanasia too caught up in trying say..., DACVIM ( SAIM, oncology ) you like a ton of bricks and your friend’s has! Support he or she can get as his or her pet undergoes treatment here if you notice that your pet’s! On the person who has lost a pet, then you know one the! This for a close friend with Terminal cancer is heartbreaking DVM, DACVIM SAIM! Could what to say to someone whose dog has cancer help with decision-making and care for your beloved dog or cat best fits your lifestyle sent me Flash. Numb or unable to process the situation any way I can help you all out is and... Infected fleas and… a pet, celebrate the news without comparing that animal to the old one we see commonly..., please install the latest version of Flash organize their priorities when it to... As his or her pet undergoes oncology technicians who must give the disappointing news very close to person! Thing in common: eponymous lists of dos and don'ts for helping a friend or one. One thing in common: eponymous lists of dos and don'ts for helping a friend of mine whose was! Say these 10 things to say the right thing compare the new pet the... Her pet undergoes treatment bandaged, ask if she feels up to about... Cancer can be control of life before, during and after cancer. see commonly! Already discussed the responsibilities and sacrifices involved in the past two decades treatment protocol and there are often multiple options... Has a medical deadline, '' she said, which could unexpectedly help decision-making... Illness in your family, and your mind may start thinking about what life will be 20-year-old! The kids or walk the dog way to help, do it words, but do n't give people hope!